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Goodbye My Dear Bonkie

"Even when my memories of you fades away, I would search through my mind again~
and on days when I recall you on my memories, tears flow endlessly..."
涙そうそう (Nada Sou Sou)-

Today I want to post about my mixed-breed dog "Bonkie" that just died 3 days ago. The worst thing about her death is she died in front of me or I could say, she was killed in front of me
while I couldn't do anything to save her. Even until now, I still can't believe that she's gone forever. No more spoiled funny dog who will come to me every time and asked to be petted, no more funny dog that could stand on her 2 feet every time I wanted...

I have a bad memory, I don't really remember when exactly she became my pet, but it's been a long time...my brother said that she's been in my home since we were still in junior high, so that would mean that she's been with me for more than a decade...

She was a nice and cute dog but she's a very jealous dog. It's not really her fault, I mean she's the oldest dog that had been with us for the longest time ever compared to any other pet I ever had but she have to see other pet dogs took our attention and also took her food share. Of course, we still love her, but I guess she didn't understand that. And so, her jealousy is making her grumpy to other dogs.

Then, earlier in this year, some friend asked us to help taking care of his new-bought Pit Bull puppy. At first I don't want to agree cause I've been hearing or seeing news about how APBT can kills in some cases. But since it was a puppy we thought that it's okay.
And so, that APBT brought to our house...she's actually a nice, friendly, quiet (at first), but then she get over energetic (is that the right word?), or should I say hyperactive. And of course this hyperactive personality makes her eat so much that she keeps on eating other dogs food, including Bonkie. So, obviously Bonkie is even grumpier than ever, and she keeps on fighting for her right (her food).
The APBT is actually scared of Bonkie and she always lose, cried and runaway if Bonkie barks at her. Seeing this, I was thinking about splitting them in different cages (I know I should do this from a long time ago), but it's not that simple, because iron fence cost money. We even have trouble feeding the APBT cause she eats a lot.

Then, 3 days ago...a very shocking day in my life occurred...
Bonkie and the APBT suddenly fight, and this time the APBT is not holding back, she fight back. And of course a small mongrel like Bonkie is no rival for an APBT. Bonkie lost immediately.
The problem is the APBT is biting Bonkie's neck and won't let go no matter what. She's probably at her limit after being scared of Bonkie for a long time.
Bonkie was screaming in pain while staring at me like screaming for my help. I was so panicked, I was screaming and trying so hard to save Bonkie, but the APBT just won't let Bonkie go.
I was alone in the house when it happens so no one is helping me. I was really panicked, I keep screaming and crying while trying to save Bonkie. But I couldn't. Bonkie stopped fighting and finally stop moving. The APBT still won't let her go and even drag Bonkie away from me.
When I saw Bonkie stop moving, and didn't even move a bit when she's dragged, I was so shocked. I thought that she already dead and crying out loud seeing the APBT won't leave her side even though she already stop biting her. She keep on barking at Bonkie that already stopped moving. I know the only thing I could do is wait for my parents and my brother to help me.
Then finally my parents is home. My father said that Bonkie still breathing and that moment I saw Bonkie raised her head and trying with all her strength to stand and walk. When I saw her standing and walk I was hoping so bad that she ill survive, but she fell after just 2 or 3 steps.
That was probably her very last strength. After that, she was just laying and breathing slowly. Her body was already cold, I realize she won't make it so I was staying by her side...and finally she's kinda coughing a few times and stopped breathing around 5.50 PM. And that was the very last day with her.
It still depressed me so much every time I remember the incident. I know that Bonkie is already old but the fact that she didn't die from her old age is really making me sad, and the fact that she was actually killed in front of me and I couldn't save her is even worse. I still blaming myself until now. I think I will never be able to forget this ever...

Ohh~my dear Bonkie,
my dear friend~~
I'm so sorry I couldn't save you~
I love you so much~
You're the best, funniest, most obedience pet I ever had~
I'm so sorry that you ended up with a master like me who couldn't save you~
But I'm really thankful that I've ever had a dog like you~
Thanks for being my friend for more than a decade,
thanks for all the sweet & funny memories we had together,
thanks for giving me sweet cute little puppies 3 times,
thanks for everything~
I love you~
I will never ever forget about you~~
 In memory of Bonkie
??? - November 2nd, 2010 (5.50 PM)

"Goodbye to you my trusted friend...
We've known each other since we were nine or ten...
Together we've climbed hills and trees...
Learned of love and ABC's...
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees..."




( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 7th, 2010 02:26 pm (UTC)
Poor Bonkie.. I hope she's in a better world now.
Both you and her had a lot of memories together, right? She must have been happy that you were her master after all.

Don't blame yourself for what happened, please, Siria. It was impossible to solve by your own. Just pray for her, that will give your love to her even when she's away.
Nov. 17th, 2010 11:09 am (UTC)
hai Karin~
Yes, there's so many memories, so many cute things that only Bonkie will do~it was a real shock~ima made mo, when I think of her and remember the incident, I'll feel so sad and guilty~I mean who wouldn't be, seeing my beloved pet that I keep for longest time being killed in front of me~ T.T
But yes, like you said, it was impossible to save her~I just thought, if only I've separated them since the 1st time they fight, put them in different place, maybe Bonkie would still be alive~ T.T
Anyway, like you said too, I've been praying for her~hope she'll be in better place and happier~

Thanks for encouraging me~it really means a lot~so sorry for late reply~I was still in shock and crying a lot before so I didn't have any spirit to update much~

By the way Karin, do you have twitter account? It's probably the one account that I updated most since it's so easy to do it in my mobile phone~perhaps we could talk more often via twitter~ ^^
Nov. 20th, 2010 01:49 pm (UTC)
You don't have to say sorry for that, Siria. It's easy to understand after all. I hope, you feel better now?

Oh, I see.. Unfortunetely, I don't have one right now but I'll get it to comminicte with you more often if you want~
Nov. 20th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
Yes~I'm better now Karin~~still sad of course but I guess I can't keep crying forever, right?
Lately I just keep worrying that the APBT will kill my other dogs that I'm lacking sleep~it almost happen again 2 days ago~apparently the APBT is pregnant, some people say that's probably why she's become vicious when she's disturbed, I guess I can't really blame her, Bonkie was kinda mean to her~
But anyway, her real master will take her back soon~I hope this is the best for all~

By the way Karin, you don't have to force yourself making twitter account~I mean, I'll feel selfish then~~
I'm gonna check my LJ more often~or we can trade email~that would be more easy, right? ^^
Nov. 28th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
Sorry for the late reply, I've been a bit busy with my studies..><

I wish that kind of incident will not happen ever again.
You're right this looks like a real reason for her to be agressive. I hope that her master will take her sooner, too.

Well, it's not something that you have to feel selfish for. I'll check twitter then and if I like the site itself I'll make an account, ok?^^
That's a good idea, too! If I give you a google e-mail, it'll be easier to communicate, ne~
Dec. 11th, 2010 03:06 am (UTC)
Sorry for late reply too~my computer suddenly broke down~didn't really know why, but it's probably because of lightning or something, cause it was raining at the time and so many thunder+lightning~some people said that lightning could broke down electronics when it struck the...electric source pole (sorry, I don't know how to said it in English)~ :(
it's all okay now though~

Sure, if you don't like twitter, we could still communicate by email, and like you said it'll be easier for sure~ ^^
you can PM me your gmail address, I'll PM u mine too~ ^^

so how is your study going? your Nihonggo study?
ahh yes~you could tell me more by email~it's probably more convenient~
Dec. 13th, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
I've sent a reply by e-mail~
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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