"Even when my memories of you fades away, I would search through my mind again~
and on days when I recall you on my memories, tears flow endlessly..."
-涙そうそう (Nada Sou Sou)-
Today I want to post about my mixed-breed dog "Bonkie" that just died 3 days ago. The worst thing about her death is she died in front of me or I could say, she was killed in front of me while I couldn't do anything to save her. Even until now, I still can't believe that she's gone forever. No more spoiled funny dog who will come to me every time and asked to be petted, no more funny dog that could stand on her 2 feet every time I wanted...
I have a bad memory, I don't really remember when exactly she became my pet, but it's been a long time...my brother said that she's been in my home since we were still in junior high, so that would mean that she's been with me for more than a decade...
She was a nice and cute dog but she's a very jealous dog. It's not really her fault, I mean she's the oldest dog that had been with us for the longest time ever compared to any other pet I ever had but she have to see other pet dogs took our attention and also took her food share. Of course, we still love her, but I guess she didn't understand that. And so, her jealousy is making her grumpy to other dogs.
Then, earlier in this year, some friend asked us to help taking care of his new-bought Pit Bull puppy. At first I don't want to agree cause I've been hearing or seeing news about how APBT can kills in some cases. But since it was a puppy we thought that it's okay.
And so, that APBT brought to our house...she's actually a nice, friendly, quiet (at first), but then she get over energetic (is that the right word?), or should I say hyperactive. And of course this hyperactive personality makes her eat so much that she keeps on eating other dogs food, including Bonkie. So, obviously Bonkie is even grumpier than ever, and she keeps on fighting for her right (her food).
The APBT is actually scared of Bonkie and she always lose, cried and runaway if Bonkie barks at her. Seeing this, I was thinking about splitting them in different cages (I know I should do this from a long time ago), but it's not that simple, because iron fence cost money. We even have trouble feeding the APBT cause she eats a lot.
Then, 3 days ago...a very shocking day in my life occurred...
Bonkie and the APBT suddenly fight, and this time the APBT is not holding back, she fight back. And of course a small mongrel like Bonkie is no rival for an APBT. Bonkie lost immediately.
The problem is the APBT is biting Bonkie's neck and won't let go no matter what. She's probably at her limit after being scared of Bonkie for a long time.
Bonkie was screaming in pain while staring at me like screaming for my help. I was so panicked, I was screaming and trying so hard to save Bonkie, but the APBT just won't let Bonkie go.
I was alone in the house when it happens so no one is helping me. I was really panicked, I keep screaming and crying while trying to save Bonkie. But I couldn't. Bonkie stopped fighting and finally stop moving. The APBT still won't let her go and even drag Bonkie away from me.
When I saw Bonkie stop moving, and didn't even move a bit when she's dragged, I was so shocked. I thought that she already dead and crying out loud seeing the APBT won't leave her side even though she already stop biting her. She keep on barking at Bonkie that already stopped moving. I know the only thing I could do is wait for my parents and my brother to help me.
Then finally my parents is home. My father said that Bonkie still breathing and that moment I saw Bonkie raised her head and trying with all her strength to stand and walk. When I saw her standing and walk I was hoping so bad that she ill survive, but she fell after just 2 or 3 steps.
That was probably her very last strength. After that, she was just laying and breathing slowly. Her body was already cold, I realize she won't make it so I was staying by her side...and finally she's kinda coughing a few times and stopped breathing around 5.50 PM. And that was the very last day with her.
It still depressed me so much every time I remember the incident. I know that Bonkie is already old but the fact that she didn't die from her old age is really making me sad, and the fact that she was actually killed in front of me and I couldn't save her is even worse. I still blaming myself until now. I think I will never be able to forget this ever...
Ohh~my dear Bonkie,
my dear friend~~
I'm so sorry I couldn't save you~
I love you so much~
You're the best, funniest, most obedience pet I ever had~
I'm so sorry that you ended up with a master like me who couldn't save you~
But I'm really thankful that I've ever had a dog like you~
Thanks for being my friend for more than a decade,
thanks for all the sweet & funny memories we had together,
thanks for giving me sweet cute little puppies 3 times,
thanks for everything~
I love you~
I will never ever forget about you~~
In memory of Bonkie
??? - November 2nd, 2010 (5.50 PM)
- Current Mood: depressed
- Current Music:Westlife - Seasons in the Sun